


Madness

by littlesolo



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-21
Updated: 2017-01-21
Packaged: 2018-09-18 21:12:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9403070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlesolo/pseuds/littlesolo
Summary: Love is a form of madness and that worries Lena because the Luthors have a history when it comes to madness.





	1. Chapter 1

Habits can be dangerous things.  Lena’s latest habit is Kara Danvers whether it’s meeting her for coffee, sharing take out, or going for a walk.  It may not seem like much, but emotions are involved and things are moving past a mere crush, so Lena is cautious.  You see when it comes to habits, the Luthors tend to have one for madness.  Having put an end to CADMUS and Lillian, Lena hopes that she can simply close off that chapter of her life but things are rarely that simple.  They weren’t when it came to Lex.  

Lex had welcomed her into the family with open arms.  In many ways, he helped her become the CEO she is today.  Lena remembers movie marathons whenever she came home from boarding school.  He taught her chess when she was young, and then how to throw her first punch when Ronnie Sinclair wouldn’t take a hint to leave her alone.  She remembers the language lessons being drilled into her in classes but watching foreign movies with Lex to brush up or just for fun.  Then there was his planning and building methods, his college shirt that he always had to be wearing, his lucky pen and blaring music.  Lena still blares music now while she brainstorms and builds things, it helps her think.  But then Lex shut her out.  Preoccupied with Superman and aliens and how to get rid of them.  Lena couldn’t tell you where all this anger came from but it came off him in waves.  

Then there was Lillian.  Calling Lillian Mother was more of just a title and she wore it as one, at least where Lena was concerned.  She’d listen with envy while Kara told her stories of her foster mother and her sister.  Her sister that she was still close to.  She wishes she still had that with Lex.  Anyway, Lillian would teach her how to compose her emotions.  The value of a mask.  Some of it she would learn on her own, but Lillian had it down to perfection.  Lena can command a room and have everyone’s attention within minutes but Lillian can instill fear.  That chill that goes down people’s spine, and for good reason apparently.  Experimenting and trying to exterminate aliens.  She was just as obsessed as Lex.  

So, these new emotions, Lena approaches them slowly, not wanting to scare off the young reporter but also because…well… they say love is a form of madness too and that frightens her more than anything.  


	2. Chapter 2

It’s a follow up interview.  A follow up on Lena really, just three days late.  Following the fall of CADMUS, things have changed between them.  Gone are the welcoming smiles and usual banter.  There’s a mask now firmly in place that Kara isn’t used to seeing.  

Kara’s frustrated because she knows she’s partly responsible for that mask, but hates that it means that they have to start over.  Except it isn’t really starting over, is it?  No, it’s worse.  Even when they first met, accusing her of something sinister, Lena had been welcoming.  Now she just seemed guarded and not just with Kara.  

Kara thinks back to discussions they’d had over coffee about Lena wanting the Luthor name to mean something else when people associated her name with it, to bring it out of Lex’s shadow.  Lately, the media had been tearing into her, speculating if she was like her brother, like her mother.  

Kara stares down at her notepad, realizing that her Snapper assigned follow up piece is doing just the same.  It hits her then that she hadn’t just set back their trust, but everything Lena had been trying so hard to accomplish.  

“You know what, this is stupid” says Kara, closing her pad and pen.  Lena raises an eyebrow at her but says nothing.  “I already know you’re nothing like the rest of your family.”  

“Do you?” asks Lena, and Kara wishes her voice didn’t sound so hollow.  “If you’re so certain, then why the interview?”

“My boss” answers Kara with a tired shrug.  

“So what do you intend to do?  Make up my responses like the others?” asks Lena, eyes flashing.  

“No.  I’ll base my article on the Lena I know.  The one who was a hero to National City.”  Lena holds her gaze and Kara wishes she could tell what she was thinking.  Finally, she gives a small nod.  

“If there’s nothing else then….”  Kara nods and gathers her things, giving one last glance back at Lena before she leaves.  

* * *

Feelings aren’t logical.  As much as Lena feels for Kara, it doesn’t change the fact that when she needed someone, someone like Kara with her smiles, endless optimism, and strength, there had been no one.  It hadn’t been about making the virus inert, that hadn’t even been a choice, it was about turning her back on the only family she’d ever known.  So without a friend in the world, she’d felt abandoned.  Now she was over that.  Now she’s just alone and years and years of boarding school have her prepared for that.  

Supergirl appears at her balcony that night.  It’s been just as long since Lena has seen her, but she understands.  Duty comes before all else, and CEOs are low on the list of things that must be seen to.  Lena understands duty.  It’s why she hadn’t hesitated in altering the virus.  Supergirl had told her to be her own hero and she had, at the expense of her family.  Could she even call them that now?  Surely Lillian must have disowned her.  Duty, she reminds herself against Lex’s whispering voice in the back of her mind.  He whispers that Supergirl is using her but she shakes her head clear of his voice.  

“How are you Miss Luthor?”  

“Lena, please.  I’ve been busy.  The DEO has me digging into what else Lillian may have had her hands into.  I’ve been trying to deconstruct and reengineer some of my mother’s devices for the DEO.  They could do it, but I prefer the fewer eyes that see her… inventions… the better.”  

“I meant how are you holding up” corrects Supergirl, leaning against the balcony railing.  Lena goes out to join her.  

“I suppose I feel a bit like you.  Duty above the rest and alone.”  

“You’re not alone, you have allies.  In fact we share some” says Kara with a smile.  Lena shakes her head, her hands clasped in front of her as she leans against the railing.  

“I’m an… asset to the DEO for now.  It’s just another way for them to keep tabs on me, I’m sure.”  Supergirl regards her for a second.  Lena shivers in the night air, but keeps her gaze on the night sky.  Supergirl hadn’t been aware that it was this bad.  That Lena had felt this… used and alone.  

“There’s Kara” offers Supergirl gently.  Lena turns her head to look at her.  “She makes mistakes but she is your friend” assures Supergirl.  Lena nods and goes back inside.  Supergirl lets out a sigh and takes off.  Regaining Lena's trust may be harder than she thought.  


	3. Chapter 3

Kara has been feeling off lately.  Not quite distracted, she remains focused and gets the job done, but something keeps entering her thoughts.  Or rather someone.  Lena Luthor.  

On Maaldoria, without her powers, she’d been focused on getting the prisoners back home.  Seeing Roulette had made her think of Lena for a brief moment, this being one of Roulette’s circles she wouldn’t know about.  Without her powers, it had been a close escape.  She’d never been more relieved to see her sister.  It’s only later, after submitting her article and seeing Izzy reunited with her mother, that the odd thought of Lena having no one enters her mind.  She calls Lena and leaves a message for coffee plans.  

Lena doesn’t get back to her, but it doesn’t matter because she’s now busy training Mon El.  Mon El needs more training on keeping his emotions in check, but has potential still.  Lena enters her thoughts whenever she argues with James.  What had he said a hero needed?  A wanting to make a difference and a willingness to put yourself on the line for others?  Kara doubts that either of those things were going through Lena’s mind when she discovered the virus, only that it would kill a lot of people.  So out a sense of duty to do what was right, she had altered the virus.  She hadn’t just saved National City, but the world as well.  And all without a suit or powers.  It frustrated her to no end why James couldn’t see that being a human didn’t make him weak, but it didn’t make him suited to fight crime either.  

Well that wasn’t necessarily true either, was it?  There was Alex and Maggie, but both had years of training to back them up in a fight and had sense enough to know when to back down and let someone like Kara or J’onn finish the battle.  She wasn’t an idiot either.  She was betting Winn got his black eye in connection with the Guardian, which didn’t make her any happier about the whole situation.  They’d both been injured in the field and it didn’t stop them in the slightest.  

James had said career and friendship weren’t enough.  Cat Grant had left him in charge for a reason but apparently he couldn’t see it.  Cat had been able to influence and encourage people from behind her desk.  She wasn’t a hero for everyone, but she’d motivated Kara more than once to be better and keep going.  His friendship had done the same.  She also didn’t like how they kept making fun of Mon El.  Superhero kindergartener, frat boy super hero, she heard them and their whispers.  Mon El may not know what the words meant but he knew the meaning behind them.  It irritates her because it’s the same kind of whispers she used to hear about herself.  The doubt and jokes.  It didn’t help and he was heaving enough trouble fitting in as it was.  

Then there was Mon El in general.  It was true she didn’t feel that way about him, she didn’t feel that way about anyone at the moment really…  Except one again, there’s Lena Luthor entering her thoughts.


	4. Chapter 4

Kara takes a deep breath as she checks herself in the mirror.  She hasn't felt emotions this strongly since her exposure to Red K and it makes her nervous.  When Maggie had come in to arrest Lena, Kara had to resist the urge to the detective out.  That couldn't be Lena on the tape, it just couldn't.  Somehow Kara _knew_ it wasn't.  She couldn't get that look out of her mind.  That look on Lena's face that said she'd given up already.  She still believed in her, although apparently she was the only one.  Winn, Alex, J'onn, they all assumed Lena was in league with her mother.  

And then there was James, ready with an explanation for how all the good Lena had done could just been part of some scheme.  James casting doubt and bringing up Clark and Lex, as if she were some idiot, was the last straw that had Kara's blood boiling just beneath her skin.  Frustrated, she takes another deep breath and checks her skin again for any signs of red veins.  

* * *

Lena fiddles with the white rook between her fingertips.  A white knight, and she has one in Kara Danvers.  Her life may have been saved by Super Girl but there's very little she actually remembers of that.  Just the wind in her hair and a pair of strong arms carrying her to safety.  Not that that didn't count for a lot, it did, but it was Kara's faith in her that had sent the caped hero after her.  Lena had never had someone believe in her that way before.  Although she had known she had known she was innocent, the evidence had been damning and her mother sending her glowing goon to break her out hadn't helped things.  Yet Kara had planted herself firmly when the detective had asked her to leave and made it clear that she aligned her herself with Lena.  

It hadn't even really started in her office though.  When Lena had had to testify, all manner of the media had been there but Kara had been sure to grab a seat front and center, not just to cover the proceedings, but to offer Lena a friendly face in the crowd.  Lena had drawn strength from that because while the words she said about her mother were true, they were difficult to say with the woman in question staring right back at her.  Instead she had found her courage in the pair of blue eyes framed by a familiar pair of glasses.  It had been Kara who had persuaded her to visit her mother and hear her out and while the sentiment had been nice perhaps she should have gone with her gut seeing as how much trouble it had gotten her roped into.  

Upon the unveiling of the arsenal, the constant churning in stomach had turning into dread.  Her mother had used her exactly as the pawn she was and there was now nothing she could do to stop her.  Not between her two favorite henchmen lingering close at hand.  That's when her savior appeared.  However, her mother had the advantage with a room full of all the anti Kryptonian weapons his mind could invent.  

Kara Danvers believes in you.  

In that moment she'd known.  Known that Kara Danvers and Super Girl were one and the same.  She felt silly actually for not not having seen it sooner, but then hadn't been the time.  She remembers yelling for her mother not to hurt her but that had been pointless.  There's very little she remembers after that thanks to the Cyborg.  

Kara does her usual job when it comes to articles.  She comes for an exclusive and Lena tells her what she can, it's not much more than her mothers manipulations.  Kara apologizes for offering that particular suggestion but Lena waves it away.  Kara had offered the advice as a friend and if her mother was anyone else, it might have been a good idea.  

"So my office is overflowing with flowers."  It was the least she could do.  Flowers, a subtle hint at the level of her madness for this woman, this woman who put her life on the line this time not for National City, but for her.  But that's not where her love comes from.  It comes from this person who had an unwavering faith in her that not even she completely understands.  


End file.
